The decision to bring a dog into your home is a big one that you’ve probably put a lot of time and thought into. Once you’ve officially committed to that decision, you’ll need to choose a breeder that checks all the boxes as far as price, health, location, availability, and so on. Finally, the next obstacle you might face is picking out a puppy. Are you getting some decision fatigue yet? Take a deep breath because I’m going to walk you through some tips and pointers to help you make that final big decision. We’re going to talk about picking out the right personality, picking the right gender, and some things that might surprise you!

Permission to see color!

I’m going to start off with something that goes against the mainstream advice you’ll find on the internet - it’s ok to pick a puppy based on color! That’s right! It’s not vain to want a puppy that fits a certain look. No one is going to give you a trophy for picking a puppy you deem to have a less valuable coloration and no one is going to fault you for picking a puppy based on its looks.

So, right out of the gate, you have my permission to pick a puppy based on coloring, as long as you already did your research and picked a good breeder. 

Picking based on Personality

With that out of the way, let’s talk about personality. Hollywood and social media portray this romanticized idea of connecting with your puppy and having a magical bond for life. A lot of people get this idea that there is one puppy in a litter that they are the most compatible with and that they will somehow be able to figure that out if they ask enough questions or spend enough time studying them. Now, I’m not going to say that never happens, but don’t be surprised if that doesn’t happen for you (and that’s totally ok)!

Picking an individual puppy with a compatible personality to yours could be an impossible task. But, in my experience, finding compatible personality traits in a dog should happen long before the puppy is born. Things most people categorize as “personality traits' ' such as independence, loyalty, calmness, being the alpha, submission, etc. are breed traits more than individual personality traits. For example, you’ll have a hard time finding a Border Collie that’s laid back and wants to sleep all the time no matter how much you analyze the personalities in the litter.

Beyond picking the right breed, you’ll also find that selecting a breeder that focuses on certain desirable personality traits in the parents helps. For example, Bernese Mountain Dogs can be stubborn, so we’ve looked for more submissive parents. Poodles can be high energy, but we found one that we often joke is “more like a Bernese Mountain Dog than some of our Berners” (i.e. he’s really laid back!). The parent’s personalities will give a good indication of what the puppies will be like.

Another challenge with picking a puppy based on personality has to do with the nature vs. nurture debate. People often look for personality traits that benefit their lifestyle. For example, someone who plans to take their dog everywhere they go might want a dog that’s outgoing and happy around all types of people. They may try to look for a puppy that’s the most outgoing in the litter, when, in reality, outgoingness is a trait that’s nurtured into the puppy through intentional socialization. 

We often tell people that your puppy will conform to almost whatever you want them to be. If you want an active dog, take them out to exercise and they’ll be conditioned for that lifestyle (within reason - a Bulldog can never be conditioned to do a marathon with you. Nature has some say in what you do with your dog). If you want a laid-back, lazy dog, provide them with the exercise they need during the day, so they are happy to snuggle with you at night. 

Nature vs. nurture doesn’t apply to all personality traits, but it’s helpful to remember that some of the things you are looking for in a puppy are trained into them rather than inherently as part of their personality.

Another aspect of picking a puppy based on personality can be skewed based on the puppy’s age. Within a litter, puppies all mature at different rates, physically, mentally, and emotionally. A puppy that’s matured a little faster may be perceived as more outgoing compared to their littermates, when in reality, they’ve just gained a little more of an understanding about the world around them and are, possibly, more physically able to move toward new people and experiences. That puppy’s littermates may catch up in a day or two and the differences are undetectable. Alternatively, a puppy that’s perceived to be shy, might just be going through a very normal “fear period” before its littermates are. We’ve experienced this many times where a puppy seems really shy for a while and then breaks through that bubble and becomes the most outgoing of the litter.

Being outgoing or shy is just one example of how maturity rates skew how personality is perceived. This can also be applied to energy levels, dominance, submissiveness, fear, aggression, and more.

Is all this to say that the puppies all end up with the same personalities? Nope! We definitely start seeing definite differences in personalities by the time they are 8-10 weeks old, but that’s when it’s time for them to leave for their new homes. We can’t wait until then to allow our waiting list members to make their picks because it’s more important that the puppies start individualized training in their new homes around that time. Also, at the end of the day, it doesn’t matter. Because we know the typical breed traits and personalities of the parents, the difference from puppy to puppy within a litter is going to be so minuscule that we are confident it won’t affect your relationship or success with that puppy. We’ve been breeding dogs for 7 years and have never had a client complain about getting a puppy with the wrong personality. In fact, we often get the opposite type of feedback that says their puppy is absolutely perfect for their family.

Male vs. Female

Moving away from personality, another factor that is often taken into account when picking a puppy is gender. Again, I’m going to go against the mainstream and say that unless you are breeding the dog and haven’t had them spayed or neutered, gender doesn’t matter much! 

You’ll find articles online that give sweeping generalizations saying things like females tend to be more independent and males are easier to train, or males are more assertive and act more dominant than females. However, you could just as easily get a female puppy that’s extremely dominant and a male that’s very independent. Those generalizations hardly dictate the suitability of a puppy’s potential as a pet and I hate to see new puppy families rule out half the litter based on gender when there is one from the other gender that would be a great fit. 

Now, if you decide not to spay or neuter, you’ll encounter reproductive differences which may be something you want to take into account. Here’s a quick rundown of what that means:

Females can reach sexual maturity around 6-8 months old (sometimes older for bigger dogs) which is when they’ll start going through heat cycles. A dog cycles twice a year and the cycle usually lasts around 3 weeks. Thus, there will be about 6 weeks in the year where gender matters. For the sake of keeping this post concise, I’m not going to get into all the details about what happens when a dog is in heat. Just know, it’s not too big of a deal, but is something worth considering. Unneutered males are a slightly different story. Their differences are ongoing rather than cyclical.  At any time of the year they may be more prone to mark their territory, act more energetic or less obedient if they encounter a dog in heat, and may be more prone to run if they detect a female in heat nearby. We really haven’t had any of those problems with our intact boys and the undesirable stud behaviors we have run into were pretty easy to train out of them.

Picking a puppy at Joley Aire

To wrap this up, I wanted to take a moment to explain the logistics of how we at Joley Aire help you pick out your puppy. If you’ve joined the waiting list before the litter is born, you are reserving a spot in line for picks. The spot you hold is based on when deposits are placed, so the sooner the better.

Once a litter is born, we usually take a week to get settled and focus on caring for the newborn pups. By the end of the first week, as long as everyone is doing well, we’ll give the person who holds the first pick the option of making their pick or waiting until the puppies are 4 weeks old. If they make their pick sooner than 4 weeks, we will move to the second person and so on.

If the person who holds the first pick prefers to wait, we’ll set a picking date around when the puppies are 4 weeks old. We usually try to pick a weekend so more people are available. We encourage everyone on the waiting list to come visit the puppies either in person or to set up a video call to see them in action before the official picking day. At those appointments, we recommend customers choose their top 3 favorites of the litter. Then, when it’s their turn to pick, they can make it official via text or email.

We try to do everything we can to help our customers make a pick they feel confident about. Besides allowing visits or video calls, we are happy to answer questions and provide any additional insight we’ve noticed. One of our best tools is our kids! Since they spend countless hours with the puppies and are honest to a fault, we often look to them to answer questions about the differences between each puppy in a litter.

The process is slightly different if you aren’t a part of the waiting list, but notice a puppy on our website that’s available after picks have been made. We still encourage you to set up a video call or visit to get to know the puppy before committing to them with a deposit, however, due to the competitive nature of the puppy market, will only hold a puppy for 24 hours regardless of if you are able to set up a video call or visit within that time.

 If you have to wait longer than 24 hours, there is a chance no one else will want that particular puppy, but it’s crazy how often we end up with two people wanting the same puppy on the same day (even a puppy that’s been available for a long time with no interest). If that’s the case, we will allow the first person 24 hours to place a deposit. If they don’t, the second person has the option to place a deposit within 24 hours. 

In conclusion, I just want to reiterate that it’s ok to pick a puppy based on color. As long as you have researched the breed and breeder, personality differences within a litter won’t vary much and needn’t be the absolute deciding factor. Gender also shouldn’t matter much if you aren’t planning to breed. Don’t rule out a portion of the litter based on gender if you are going to spay or neuter anyway. And, at the end of the day, picking out a puppy may seem like a big decision, but it really isn’t. Take a deep breath, ask questions, come for a visit, and have confidence in your decision. They are all going to be amazing pets if you care for them well and put in a little time and effort.